How many times have you sat across from your best friend and told them to go after their dreams, get to the gym, cheered them on while they instilled a new healthy routine or helped them see that they deserved the best?

How many times have you done that for yourself?

When it comes to losing weight, sticking to a fitness routine, believing in ourselves or going after our dreams we are usually our own worst enemy.  Statistics say that 80% of our thoughts are in fact negative!  80% are self-sabotaging beliefs that hold us back from the life, body and relationships that we truly desire to have.

Before we get into how to change this, first we need to ask, “Is having vibrant health and a body I am comfortable in (dare I say looks better as I age) that important to me?”

If you answered YES, then let’s get to work!

First, you must answer the following questions:

1. When is comes to your best friend why do you wish nothing but the best for her, yet when it comes to yourself you usually come up against excuses, stalling and that inner glass ceiling?

2. Why do you cheer your loved one on as she goes after her dreams but when it comes you, you deem a great body, vibrant health, more money, happier relationships impossible? You beat yourself up daily for not meeting your goals, while not making the changes needed in order to see a different result.

3. Do you believe your health and weight are directly related to your self-esteem and the internal value you put on your life?

Self-sabotage is the #1 thing that prevents us from not doing what is needed in order to achieve what we desire.  During our lives we are taught that we can’t have it all, that we are not supposed to look and feel as good as we age; that beauty is for the youth.  The hamster wheel of never ending negative internal dialogue can wreak havoc on even the best-intentioned person if not kept in check.

Ever wonder why there are so many positive quotes?  It’s because we need a constant reminder and motivational push to why we are choosing a sometimes more difficult route.

By saying, “I come first,” you are announcing that you are worth it.

Many of us grew up hearing the phrase “You can’t have it all.” This negative comment, after hearing it time and time again, leaves an imprint in our self esteem forever.  Leaking into not just our health or weight. It can show its face in our careers, relationships or maybe even how we never follow through on achieving anything that we truly desire.

One of the most common reasons I hear as to why a person has not embarked on a weight loss program and/or fitness routine is due to lack of finances.  The bathroom needs to be redone, kids are in college, the car needs to be repaired and the list goes on.  They’ll say the gym, trainer or organic food is too expensive.  Question, how expensive is illnesses and surgeries due to being overweight or possibly even obese? What price do you put on lack of energy, immobility and faster aging?

Now you might say, I only have 20lbs to lose.  In this case diabetes and a heart attack may not apply, but what price do you put on spending your entire life hiding and feeling ashamed?  Is it worth covering yourself up on the beach or using your purse as a shield when taking pictures?  Would you tell your best friend that taking care of her health and feeling fantastic in her body wasn’t worth the price tag?  If your friend struggled with feelings of low self esteem, constant negative bashing, feelings of unhappiness and being uncomfortable in her own body, wouldn’t you tell her to find the support she needed to make the lifestyle changes that would ultimately lead to her highest level of health and happiness?

As a society we have categorized taking care of our health as a side issue.  Something that would be nice is if we have the extra cash, the extra time.   Unfortunately, this causes a merry-go-round of a problem. Many people struggle with depression and feelings of unworthiness, are overwhelmed, feel like what they do is never good enough and have thoughts like “I will never get there”.  The Band-Aid fix to this problem is food, alcohol, dinners out,  andentertainment.  Anything that will keep our minds off of the one thing we so desperately want: contentment within ourselves, complete with a body that looks great and we are proud to live in and the same energy we had when we were 20.

The question isn’t can you afford to take care of your health. It’s can you afford not too?

Written by Kerin Briscese. You can find her at